Wednesday, November 21, 2007

My Adventure of Being a Couch Potato

Our reliability to a certain monopoly-based local satellite TV channel is astounding. So much so that I’m still wondering how the bloody hell we survived back in the days when all we had was the 2 main terrestrial stations. Our reliability extends to the fact that even though they’ve messed about with the channels by introducing the annoyingly confusing 3 digit channel system, we didn’t moan all that much.

Like most couch potatoes, I do have my favorite series ranging from sports, to the educational as well as to the entertainment genre. For example, it is of no surprise too see me in front of the telly when Rafa’s Redman are playing, nor is it a shock to find me hogging the idiot box when the host is about to get eaten by a 10 foot estuarine Croc. In retrospect though, my inclination towards certain series is mostly derived NOT from its gripping, suspenseful storyline but is mainly due to the hotties that appear on it.

So, in a tribute to the hotties that have made me more obsessed for the telly, here are the Top 5 Hotties whom I like to ogle at on a weekly basis but pretend that I’m engrossed with the storyline instead because I don’t want the wife to suspect.

#5. Hayden Panetierre, “Claire Bennett – Heroes”

If they haven’t already, someone should be given a medal for writing and making her wear that ridiculously short cheerleader outfit throughout the first season. Fair enough, her powers of rapid cellular regeneration are blatant plagiarism of a certain Mr. Logan, (minus the Adamantium claws and thankfully without the excess hair) but she’s a central character in which the whole series is revolves upon.

The series’ script is nothing special as we’ve seen the plot a dozen times in the comics. But Heroes is different as we get to see Hayden run around in that cheerleader outfit whilst trying to save the world.

Did I mention about her outfit?

#4. Jolene Blalock, “T’ Pol – Star Trek: Enterprise

I am not a Trekkie. Nor do I know how to speak Klingon. But I was hooked on the series simply on the basis of Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One, often shortened to "Seven of Nine" or simply "Seven", portrayed by the insatiable Jeri Ryan, from Star Trek: Voyager.

The producer continued to employ this shameless method of boosting up their ratings by introducing T’Pol as the Sub-Commander on the USS Enterprise. Chicks with long ears are hot. It worked with Arwen in LoTR didn’t it? And it worked perfectly here too.

#3. Tricia Helfer, “Number 6 - Battlestar Galactica”

Number Six is a seductive, Cylon spy. The key word here is ‘seductive’.

In the series, she is one of the many copies of the new generation of Cylons, capable of adapting to human form and emotions, rather than the shiny metallic toasters, with the vertically flashing red lights for eyes.

Oh, Tricia Helfer used to model for Victoria’s Secret. ‘Nuff said.

#2, Eva La Rue “Natalia Boa Vista – CSI Miami

Those tree huggers have got it wrong, global warming is not a result of environmental decline. The Earth’s temperature is rising (especially in Miami) because of Eva La Rue. It is damn worth suffering through Horatio’s constant fiddling with his shades and inclination to pause at every word in a sentence.

Natalia is the latino hottie, who joined the show in Season 5 and is the team’s DNA expert, initially assigned only to work on unsolved or cold cases. What Horation didn’t know was that she was a mole for the FBI, planted in the CSI office to build a case against Horatio and his team.

However, seeing as how cool Horatio is with his shades on, she told the FBI to bugger-off and is now a permanent cast member on the series. Booyah!

#1. Emily Procter “Calleigh Dusquene – CSI Miami

Calleigh plays the southern belle with the southern charm and drawl. Although she is not drop dead gorgeous, she makes it up by being coy and demure in one moment and a total kick-ass in the other.

She is the ballistics expert for the CSI team, which means that any crime involving someone getting shot, she’ll be the one conducting the trace on the bullet slugs. Nothing is hotter than a chick who loves guns and the only girl I know who makes ballistic testing look so "hawt".

Disclaimer: Now, before any of you start to moan about why Katherine Heigl or even Jennifer Garner isn't in the list, well.. TOUGH!. I do not ..repeat... DO NOT watch either Grey's Anatomy or Alias. Period.

Monday, November 05, 2007

My Adventure of Using an Anology

Did you know that the hyena can virtually eat their entire prey or to be more exact, the carcass, as compared to other predators which can only eat about 60% of theirs. Its powderful (sic) jaws allow it to demolish and consume the normally indigestable materials such as horns, hooves and tusks of their prey.

Much like women in shoe stores. Chaos, anarchy, disarray, pandemonium and commotion all in one package. Yes, I'm making an analogy here. Or is it a simile? What then is a metaphor?

No worries though. I have another adventurious (?) opportunity for those of you who was demn lembap for the afore-mentioned event.

I did tried to lobby with the good people of WWF if one of the options could be named as 'Happy Hurnain' or 'Hurnain Hensem' but nooo.. Some people clearly lacks creativity and forward thinking. Ceh!