Tuesday, April 25, 2006

My Adventure of (Not) Getting Tagged III

I would be lying if I said that nothing's been happening lately. There was the Frogging trip in FRIM last Saturday and my trip to the Aquaria the Saturday before that. However, I've decided to save those write-ups for a rainy day. For the time being, you lot have to be satisfied with this particular tag which is going around, created by people who have nothing better to do;

My ex and ‘Paybacks’ have something in common…. their both a BITCH.

Maybe I should grow up because I’m driving the missus crazy with my immaturity.

I love it when Liverpool scores. Especially in big-arse games like the one on Sunday morning. So, thank you Messrs Garcia & Arne Risse. You two made a lousy weekend so much bearable.

I don't understand why the Missus thinks that playing the PS2 is a waste of time, when I’m perfectly going to cut the grass after I finally beat that annoying Level 8 Boss. When? Dunno yet. Maybe in one day, or a week or two or even a month. Hey, you really can’t plan these things.

I lose my temper easily, especially during rush hour traffic. Thus, the excessive use of a certain appendage as well as the colorful language utilized.

People say that I can be selfish at times. I easily burn bridges only to regret it later. I’m sure that my life would be richer if I didn’t have done that.

I could've borrowed money of them.

Love is when you wake up to a disheveled-looking missus, air liur basi et all and still think that she’s a total hottie.

Somewhere, someone is cutting a perfectly good tree down.

I will always perceive David Beckham as a twat. Not because he's an ex-Manc.

No, really.

Forever is my love for my wife.

I never want to go through another of our wedding reception. Three…. yes, three receptions were enough. Any more and I’ll have to commit myself to one of those established mental institutions, which is going to suck because I don’t think they have internet facilities there.

I think the current US President is a tosser. The US foreign policy has never been worse since the 60s. His decision to invade Afghanistan and Iraq were unjustifiable, but then being the tosser that he is, he wouldn’t give a crap of what I think anyway.

When I wake up in the morning, I wished that I could go back to sleep again.

My past was filled with ups and downs. More ups than down, and I’m not talking about the time when I went on that roller coaster in Genting.

I get annoyed when the missus sulks. Sulking should be banned or made illegal. It doesn’t matter if I had initially spilled that glass of iced Coke on her favorite carpet. Unjustifiable, I say.

Parties are for yuppies. Why waste a perfectly good Saturday night in Jln. P. Ramlee, spending it with drunken Mat Sallehs when I could go off on one of my nocturnal excursions, chasing wild animals in the jungle.

My dog would be a hybrid between a Bull Terrier and a Shitzu. I'll name it Bullshitz.

My cat is in Sg. Petani with my family. I miss the little shite a lot.

Kisses are an important relationship tool and always should be accompanied with roses, especially when one has spilled that glass of iced Coke on wife’s favorite carpet.

Tomorrow Never Dies is a title of a Bond film which I caught on satellite TV last two weeks.

I really want to snog Kat McPhee. She’s hot. She’s not as hot like the missus is, but still hotter than your mum.

I have low tolerance for minah gedik-gedik. One of these days, I’m really gonna lose it and run one over with a Caterpillar. Except for Kat McPhee of course. She can gedik-gedik all she wants.

So, I'm tagging Kat Mcphee and The President of the United States of America. I'm sure they read my blog all the time.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

My Adventure of Being an Eejit II

With an audible groan, I reached out and switched off the annoying alarm clock. Groggily, I opened my eyes and saw that it was already 6.30 am .

Rising quietly as not to disturb the missus, I shakily made my way to the bathroom. I was still not fully awake and spent at least one minute staring at the shower head. After suffering the freezing waters, I towelled myself dry, and went to claim my working attire from the cupboard, where the missus had hung them after kindly ironing them the night before.

After performing the Subuh prayer, (express version as usual), I collected my laptop, various other office documents and started up the car. I let the car warm up a bit before making my way out. It was still dark, and the housing area was deathly quiet. I thought none of it as I continued to the Bukit Mahkota toll booth and on to the KL-Seremban highway.

10 minutes later, I noticed that the traffic was lesser than usual. Still, I thought none of it.
I became suspicious when I reached the Sg. Besi toll booth when I saw PLUS had only opened up 2 ticket booths. I thought that it was highly inefficient of them to do so due to the heavy load of traffic entering KL on weekdays. I had driven about 1km past the toll booth, when I definitely knew something was amiss. There was absolutely no bloody cars on the road that morning. Usually, this particular stretch would be choc-a-bloc full of other commuters. Immediately, I ejected my CD and switched on the radio. I managed to catch 'public holiday' at the end of the DJ's sentence.

Ah.. sudah.

I quickly called my mum up, and asked her the most stupidest question I have ever asked her......

Ma, hari ni Malaysia cuti ke?

She replied by laughing her head off.

How in the hell did I not know that it was Maulidur Rasul yesterday? Suffice to say in my defence that I had a 3 day seminar last week, and I was on Annual Leave on Monday. In addition, I had one of those stupid calendars which did not show the public holidays in Malaysia. But still....

Agak terasa bodoh la jugak semalam.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

My Adventure of Disclaming Two-Legged Parasites


All MLM agents, please be advised.

I would like to make known that I, Hurnain Hamid, along with the Missus, have NO intention in joining a Multi-level marketing program. Furthermore, after Friday nite’s events where we were ambushed by representatives of such an organisation, we are of the opinion that Mutli-level Marketing companies are parasites and an annoyance to the general public.

We are also of the opinion, in response to your annoying and consistent bullshite effort that;

#1. Sitting at maplehs in full office attire at 12am and calling it ‘going to work’ is not to my liking. There is another term for it. We call it, ‘being a LOSER’.

#2. Please do not regale me of how you bloody used to ride a Kap Chai and now you drive a Merc C class. Yes, I am aware that you have parked it in the middle of the bloody road for the whole world to see. It is called ‘POYO’ and is a catalyst for my disinterest, and my foot down your throat.

#3. Please do not start a conversation with, “Apa beza kau dan aku?”. Statements such as these and many more implies that you think that you are better than me. I am well aware that you have a big fat car. You receive tens & thousands of ringgit in a month (as seen from the cheques that you showed me) as compared to my own pathetic salary.

So fucking what? I am not as materialistic as you.

#4. Please do not assume that I am stupid by trying to convice me that your organisation is not an MLM and you are not a salesman. The fact that you tried to rope me in as your downline just adds fuel to my fire of suspicion, that your company is indeed an MLM company. Furthermore, you were trying to sell me pills of unknown origins. What do you call that then? A bleedin' pharmacist?

#5. Getting a total stranger to sit for 3 hours and making them listen to you and your colleagues drone on and on about your wonderful company, is not advisable to your health. Just know that I was giving my friend ‘face’ by pretending to listen to the all the bullshit your were talking about.

Perhaps the hints which I did, i.e. playing with my phone, reaing that magazine & watching the footie match on the mapleh’s telly, was clear indication that I was not at all interested.

In summary, I can only conlude that;

#1. You lot only live on other people’s efforts. Your company, pays you a shitload based on how many people you can bloody recruit. Your only effort for the business is tyring to convice people at maplehs in joining your damn organisation………and annoying the shite of me.

That is not what I call a business. That is NOT the method in which I would like to get rich.

*2. I am heavily invloved with wildlife conservation. So is the wife. Therefore, I have no time to go off and do your MLM shite. Tak paham ke bila aku cakap aku takde masa? Bodoh ke apa kau ni?

#3. Please be informed that any future attempts of trying to get either me, or the missus, to join your shite downline , will be met with a swift back-handed slap.

You can throw yourself out of a tall building for all care. In fact, please do.