Tuesday, April 04, 2006

My Adventure of Disclaming Two-Legged Parasites

Disclaimer:

All MLM agents, please be advised.

I would like to make known that I, Hurnain Hamid, along with the Missus, have NO intention in joining a Multi-level marketing program. Furthermore, after Friday nite’s events where we were ambushed by representatives of such an organisation, we are of the opinion that Mutli-level Marketing companies are parasites and an annoyance to the general public.

We are also of the opinion, in response to your annoying and consistent bullshite effort that;

#1. Sitting at maplehs in full office attire at 12am and calling it ‘going to work’ is not to my liking. There is another term for it. We call it, ‘being a LOSER’.

#2. Please do not regale me of how you bloody used to ride a Kap Chai and now you drive a Merc C class. Yes, I am aware that you have parked it in the middle of the bloody road for the whole world to see. It is called ‘POYO’ and is a catalyst for my disinterest, and my foot down your throat.

#3. Please do not start a conversation with, “Apa beza kau dan aku?”. Statements such as these and many more implies that you think that you are better than me. I am well aware that you have a big fat car. You receive tens & thousands of ringgit in a month (as seen from the cheques that you showed me) as compared to my own pathetic salary.

So fucking what? I am not as materialistic as you.

#4. Please do not assume that I am stupid by trying to convice me that your organisation is not an MLM and you are not a salesman. The fact that you tried to rope me in as your downline just adds fuel to my fire of suspicion, that your company is indeed an MLM company. Furthermore, you were trying to sell me pills of unknown origins. What do you call that then? A bleedin' pharmacist?

#5. Getting a total stranger to sit for 3 hours and making them listen to you and your colleagues drone on and on about your wonderful company, is not advisable to your health. Just know that I was giving my friend ‘face’ by pretending to listen to the all the bullshit your were talking about.

Perhaps the hints which I did, i.e. playing with my phone, reaing that magazine & watching the footie match on the mapleh’s telly, was clear indication that I was not at all interested.

In summary, I can only conlude that;

#1. You lot only live on other people’s efforts. Your company, pays you a shitload based on how many people you can bloody recruit. Your only effort for the business is tyring to convice people at maplehs in joining your damn organisation………and annoying the shite of me.

That is not what I call a business. That is NOT the method in which I would like to get rich.

*2. I am heavily invloved with wildlife conservation. So is the wife. Therefore, I have no time to go off and do your MLM shite. Tak paham ke bila aku cakap aku takde masa? Bodoh ke apa kau ni?

#3. Please be informed that any future attempts of trying to get either me, or the missus, to join your shite downline , will be met with a swift back-handed slap.

You can throw yourself out of a tall building for all care. In fact, please do.

20 comments:

Nobee said...

It's worse if you have your lama-tak-dengar-khabaq friend calling u from out of the blue and soon after the pleasantries going 'Bro, jom kita lepak2 makan ke, aku ade bende sikit nak cite'

Well, we all know where that is heading.....

And to think that you are being missed. :)

A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

oh 9, i think i love you already. heh heh ...

teek said...

i think cikgu razlan, who owns a mercedes is trying to recruit his students la, tu yg kete nak kena bakar tu. :)

meh la datang rumah, i ada buat makan-makan sikit. Ugh!

Freak & Geek said...

uik, garangnya..

but true oso.. has to be extra garang with these ppl..
:-p

che'fara said...

baru nak ajak join.hehe.

Cosmic_GurL said...

Long live 9 and his missus! This is my fav entry ever!! And if any of them MLM ppl approach me and try to rope me in, im gonna direct them to this entry. Hahaha..Biar padan muka! Hmmpphh!

Desparil said...

lampa burger? man, this is the 3rd blog this week that's complaining about them.

Leen Ash Burn said...

The worst kind are the ones who were non-believers before but somehow a ray of light shone upon their being and they woke up one day and exclaimed: Good God! Today I shall be in MLM! And then decided to pester us to buy their products (they have all cures from mosquito bites up to AIDS apparently eh?).

Gaahhhhh

anisism said...

tak baik marah-marah.
everyone's fighting their own battle, remember?

kita bOM dia yok!!!!!!

shell said...

urghh i heard someone from our school is also recruiting.. so beware kalau ada "reunion".

9 said...

noobs:
that is exactly wat happened that friday nite.

babe:
i thot u already loved me b4?

teek: dia cikgu disiplin kot.. heh

9 said...

freaky:
masa tuh, i was more of a fighter than a lover.

che' fara:
bakar keta kau!!

cosmic gurl:
"apa beza kau dan aku?" :p

9 said...

des:
see, they're a plague to society.

leen:
the worst bit was knowing that i was a newlywed, so keluarlah semua barangan yg menguatkan tenaga batin.

wei, i'm a jackhammer now la, no need some damn pills. :p

9 said...

anis:
don't u start.. heh.

shell:
konfirm i tak dtg. :P

A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

i luv you summore now!

che'fara said...

makin garang ar abang 9 nih..gosip dia ngan maya karin kang :p

madnessinvain said...

Ooom kalau beyonce ok aje?

Elina said...

Ooooh, like nobee, I HATE HATE HATE it when casual acquaintances suddenly try to meet up with you to discuss something. I want gossip not f-ing MLM stories!!!

9 said...

che fara:
sila.. sila.. :p

MiV:
beyonce any time..

elina:
oi, whr hv u been?

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