Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Liverpool's Adventure of Stuffing Barca

Typical Scousers.

After their headline-grabbing, boozy excursion to Portugal last week, the lads redeemed themselves by tearing apart the current European champions. Barcelone's demise was ironically, delivered by none other than the two who were at the center of the (alleged) fracas; Bellars and Riise.

Typical Scousers.

Even if one of you is Welsh and the other Norwegian. It must be the air in Liverpool. If not then how could you explain how after bashing each other up (allegedly), they went of and bashed Barcelona; Ronaldinho et all.

So, how does one prepare for an important European match, especially when your balls are against the wall? Let us count the ways.

First just run around lazily like you're jogging in the parks and not scheduled to get stuck-in with some of the best players in the world. Yes, like so....

Then have a nice stroll through training, try to outdo each other through ball-juggling, doing the hokey-pokey and making irellevant but funny faces.

One, two, thre.. oops

You take your right foot in, right foot out, and shake it all about...

All this stretching is making me constipated

After training, the gaffer will give a bit of time-off from training, because you've been stuck in the small town of Vale Do Lobo in Portugal for about a week when back home, the other clubs are trying to steal your FA Cup from you. You will then proceed to paint the town Red (pun intended).

During the this little excursion it is advisable to go off for a little bit of drink-up followed by a karaoke session. It doesn't matter if you can sing, you lot sound terrible anyways. Drunk on booze, proceed to bash your mate with either a kitchen appliance, sporting equipment or with his own kidneys.

Of course you will find yourself in the tabloids the next day but then again most of your fans have boycotted The Sun so no worries of your M'am finding out.

Of course the Gaffer is going to be pissed and will fine you for about RM0.5M but hey, thats just loose change for you. Now, this is where it gets interesting. The papers are going to have a field day with the story, citing crisis in your team and these problems will possibly effect your performance the following evening.

Bollocks! Please, at your own convenience to, obtain a win at the Nou Camp of all places.


Are we going for a karaoke, after this John?

Oh and If you're wondering where my previous accounts of the boozing shenanigans, I've changed it allright. Actually it wasn't an official report. I made it up. Heh. Apart from the lads trying to nick Jose's grannie. That was true. Honest.


lilyliverbird said...

Mourinho would sell or shag his grandma for a few quid. No way he would pay any ransom.

9 said...

walk on... walk on.. with hope in your heart (in the nou camp),

and you'll neeeever waaaalk alooooooone (not when bellars and riise scores)


eezwany said...

we won it!


im happy... my dad happy... and my friends moaning...

yeah...devils always like to moan

lilyliverbird said...

Riise will sing this time round:
Hit me baby one more time :D

A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

i kenot unnersten.

Desparil said...

so, dudek was handcuffed by christina's bf? no wonder rafa was so pissed.. hehe..

p/s- congrats on the win.

Leen Ash Burn said...

My mother asked to me to pass this message to you:


Be wary of all fat white cats with brown spots. That cat is meaaaan and have v. sharp claws.

lilyliverbird said...

Riise and Bellamy are now thick as thieves. Typical hub stealing Scousers. heh.

anttyk said...

Heard about Bellamy's new club?
It's a five iron.

Laugh la...

9 said...


.. and they smell too. heh


next time bellars ask u to sing, sing laaaa..

9 said...

u kenot understand, but still want to komen is it?

gatal la ko nih. heh

thank you. congrats on the controversial goal too. hihihi

9 said...

i sumtimes get confused on wat to call the twit. 'moan-rinho'?, 'maureen-ho'?, 'the special (education) one'?.

my flying tree frog can take on your cat anytime. :p

the fight was staged la. berlakon je tu, mcm wrestling.

9 said...

lardy geordie:
5 iron? wasn't it a 9 iron.

ok ok.. here goes, just for you.

a babe of very little brain (i repeat, very little brain) said...

of course. must position myself at the happening blogs what ... and live up to my name la.

Doreen said...

heh, congrats on the hammering of Barca. yeah, boys can be quite the drama also lah huh? even footie boys! I thought this only happened in hollywood or amongst gay men. oh wait. those lines are blurred on the field too.