Liverpool's Greek Tragedy

Oh stranger, go tell in Lacedaemon,
That here we lie, obeying their behests.

Hail, King Rafa and his brave 11!

Liverpool's A-Kop-Alis Now

Athens is the largest city and capital of Greece, located in the Attica periphery of central Greece. Named after goddess Athena, Athens is one of the oldest cities in the world with a recorded history of at least 3,000 years.

Ancient Athens was a powerful city-state. Center of the arts, learning and philosophy, home of Plato's Academy and Aristotle's Lyceum, Athens was also the birthplace of Socrates, Pericles, Sophocles and many other prominent philosophers, politicians and writers of the ancient world.

It is widely referred to as the cradle of Western Civilization and the birthplace of Democracy, largely due to the impact of its cultural and political achievements during the 5th and 4th centuries BC on the rest of the then known European Continent.

Athens has been a popular destination for travellers since antiquity. Over the past decade, the infrastructure and social amenities of Athens have been radically improved, in part due to the city's successful bid to stage the 2004 Olympic Games.

Ok. Whatever



On 23 May 2007, Liverpool, deemed to be lacking in quality, guile and overall strength-in-depth of Chelsea, Bayern Munich, Juventus and Real Madrid, and the technical brilliance of Barcelona, will be travelling to the Olympic Stadium in Athens for the European Champions League Final.

The others look on, green with envy.






To the Rossoneri, in the words of King Leonidas to the Persian King, Xerxes before the battle of Thermopylae,

Mono Labe

('Come and Get Them')

My Adventure in Saving the Tigers

China is proposing to end their 14 year tiger trade ban by legalising the internation trade on tiger products by introducing tiger farms.

WTF?!

Currently, tiger trade is prohibited internationally as well as domestically in many countries, including China. But now, there is a proposal to set-up tiger farms which will provide the supply for the high demand on tiger products.

The logic behind this hare-brained idea is that by having these tiger farms, there will be a decrease in poaching and demand for wild tiger parts. Since it's being farmed, the tiger parts would be much cheaper and not as expensive as illegally hunted ones.

Niamah!

I don't know about you but farming-out tigers as if they were chickens or cattle is bloody freaky. It's just wrong. And the reasoning behind it is a bloody joke.

The demand for tiger parts has DECREASED with the 14 year ban. There are lesser reports of poaching and the population of tigers in China, India and Russia have increased to a certain exent. By lifting the ban, it undermines the work done for the last 20 year. And furthermore, with the introduction of these farms, there is a danger of an increase in the sale of ILLEGAL parts which can be easily mistaken with LEGAL parts.

Logically speaking, to save tigers, we DO NOT sell them. They are too bloody few tigers in the wild to risk re-opening trade of any kind. The worst-case scenario would be having our own Malayan Tigers being shipped out like our other exports to foreign countries.

In summary, irrespective of the logic behind it, keeping tigers in farms for meat is just wrong.

My Adventure to Save Belum-Temengor

The Perak State Government finally saw the light of reason as they announced on 10th May 2007 that the Royal Belum State Park has been officially gazetted. This means that a total of 117,500 hectares has been put aside as a permanent forest reserve with no further logging activities or any of that sort of hanky panky going on.

Looks like the politicans there have to try to find somewhere else to make a fast buck.

The State had been under increased pressure especially after the Belum-Temengor postcard campaign, and it quickly announced that logging in the Temengor Forest Reserve would come to a halt in 2008, late last year.

But still, like the pepatah, "dapat betis, nakkan peha pula" , we tend to further pursue with the state government with additional requests:

1) The extension of the Royal Belum State Park to include the Temengor Forest Reserve.

2) Protection of the natural forest stretch flanking the East-West highway from conversion to plantation.

3) Developing a site conservation management plan for the State Park Together the Royal Belum State Park and Temengor Forest Reserve (here after referred to as Belum-Temengor Complex).

The last time I was there was in 2005, logging was still evident and you could see the detrimental effects of the logging to the area . Let's hope we can preserve whats left our our natural heritage before the shit hits the fan.

My Adventure Getting Hooked on Bleach

This Anime has caught me, hook.. line and sinker.

Suffice to say, I spent last weekend stoning-out on the Anime. This particular series is highly recommended for you Anime freakoids out there.

Being the artsy type bloke, I'm usually into serious fantasy type Animes; Gunslinger Girl, Basilisk, Ghost in a Shell, to name a few, where the animation is much more errr.. artistic. Although, not to be too poyo, I have previously followed the exploits of Goku, Gohan then Gotenks from the Dragonball series, with relish. Oh, and not forgetting that Naruto chap as well.

So, last Friday, my boss (yes, no shite) passed me his avi. format Bleach series, from episodes 1 to 103 after he had endlessly promoted it to me the entire week. He told me if I liked Naruto, then then I should seriously check the series out.

The wife wasn not too pleased about it.... especially when I took the mop and waved it at her while shouting, "Zangetsu!!!" when she yelled at me for going on a 4-hour marathon of the the series... and didn't help her with any of the chores like she asked me to.

Fortunately, the mop didn't unleash my Spirit Power though, which I'm kind of glad as I would foresee that I would be sleeping outside if it did.

60 episodes down. 40 or so to go.

My Adventure of Being Overjoyed

After a week long holiday, frolicking in Cameron Highlands with the Missus, our win was a bloody nice thing to come back to. It was fortunate the hotel carried ESPN but a bit unfortunate for our neighbours who had to adhere to the curses, screams of joy and rendition of 'You'll Never Walk Alone' coming from our room.


A 'Dagger' straight through the heart of Chelsea. 1-1 in aggregate.


Bolo, of all people, hits the target for once. 1-0 to Liverpool on pens.

"I still remember the time when you got me sent-off.

How do you like this you Dutch tosser?"

Easy by our Spanish Matador. 2-0 to Liverpool

Fat Franks' been practising it seems. Chelsea gets one back, 2-1

You didn't really expect HIM to miss, now did you? 3-1 to Liverpool

Wot? Jose put you in during E.T. for the pens?

He shouldn't have bothered. Liverpool lead 3-1 on pens.

Dirk send us into the finals. Yay!

Chelsea buried.

The lads were happy because Rafa promised Fish & Chips on the bus home.

And so Greece beckons in three weeks' time. For those Reds who still haven't ceased their celebrations in Istanbul it's just a short trip across to an adjacent country.

As for the cup only being on loan, here's hoping that it's swiftly brought back home.

My Adventure of Getting MORE Pissed

The elephant calf which was rescued from a theme park by Wildlife on February 6 of this year, was found dead in his paddock at 7.30pm on April 10.

Amid was 3 months old. He was neglected, malnourished and cruelly tied-up when he was found by the Wildlife officers.

F*ck!

F*cking poachers.

F*cking Mini Zoos.

...and f*ck you if you continue to support any these f*cking establishments.

Amid, getting a bath at Malacca Zoo
after his recscue.

The Adventure of Our Local 'Hero'

I've been following the series 'Heroes' for a couple of months now. Damn, I enjoy it! Some people have gone to the extent of downloading the series from the foreign networks so that they can claim to have watched it earlier than those who only rely on our favourite sattelite TV channel.

The cheats!

Yes, not only have we followed the series religiously, we all have our favourite characters, based either on their personality, powers or general hottiness (Claire - Yummy). But the show is just an adaptation of the comic book industry pheneomenon. They're just fiction... or is it?

I have been recently informed that we here in M'sia have our very own 'Hero'. Oh yes, we do. I shite you not.

His name is Mokh.

Now Mokh is an ordinary bloke, your average family man, nothing remotely spectacular about his social life. He works a 9-5 job just like your average joe. But one thing different about Mokh that he is indeed special.

Very, very special.

He has powers. No, no.. he doesn't have any super-powers like Hiro or Peter, Mokh's powers are more deadlier.

Mokh has the power and authority but no common sense or a brain to use it! Oh, and apprently he can turn people into donkeys too!

How does his powers work? Let's take one example of Mokh's heroic escapade.

Now, Mokh's job allows him to maintain the welfare for a bunch of villagers. So one day, Mokh decided to give the villagers a place to live by promising the construction of a new village. Fair enough. He had promoted his new sprawling village-ship by dangling the nearby forest reserve (which is a gazetted forst reserve since 1898), as a carrot in front of the 'donkeys'. Thus the villagers, who had now turned into real 'donkeys' by Mokh, then bought the houses or pieces of land, because the newly-turned donkeys wanted to live near a green lung, totally believing that Mokh and his friends would be committed to protecting the 100-year-old forest.

What does Mokh do?

Using his power of severely 'Lacking a Brain', he decides to bulldoze, yes literally to bulldoze through with a series of plans in a high-handed manner without any respect for the views of the affected 'donkeys'. Wow, amazing.

First, the 'donkeys' were told that a cemetery would be created next to their land and now, to their horror, they found that the Petaling Jaya Structural Plan 2020 has bigger plans to develop the forest reserve.

It was already bad enough that the cemetery issue has divided the community – one group of 'donkeys' that wants the cemetery but most of whom DO NOT live in the area while the other group is the one affected and is understandably against it. Tempers have even flared at meetings between both groups of 'donkeys'.

No sh*t. Using his powers of 'No Common Sense', he didn't previously mentioned or discussed the cemetary project to the resident donkeys of the area but had acted on the decision made by the donkeys living from outside of the area.

Now the resident villagers are upset because they found out that Mokh's bosses have powers themselves. The power of degazetting a forest in a suspicious way that smacks of non-transparency.

The affected villagers, who are now were-donkeys (donkey by-day, human by-night) have stated that they are NOT against the cemetery but are against the de-gazetting of the forest and the manner it had been carried out. Sadly, some of Mokhs rivals has entered into the picture and has been using the issue to rally support from some misinformed constituents by using the race and religion card.

So, Hiro eat your heart out. Bending time and space? Pbfffft!

Trying to save New York from getting blown up is easy. Let's see you and your friends try to create awareness in nature conservation as well as to promote transparency in the local legislative methods and procedures. Hah!

The villagers have turned to the Justice League of Nature Society for help. Yes, I now have to reveal my secret identity and use my extraordinary powers of Good Looks and Charming Personality to help out those who are in need.

I just need a phone booth to change. Where to find ah?

My Adventure of Being Fickle

Yes, I know.

This is the 3rd time I've changed my template in a short span of time.

Blame it on my mood swings.

Anyways, on a conservation note;





Help save the Malayan Tiger by buying MYCAT T-shirts. Don't be fickle. You'll be changing your blog template again and again like a complete git. Profits from the sale of the t-shirt will go towards supporting MYCAT, the first-of-its-kind conservation partnership focusing on saving the Malayan Tiger.

Wear MYCAT T-shirts… and spread the message that the tiger is a totally protected species that cannot be consumed... or kept in your backyard.


Sizes:
The round-neck cotton T-shirts come in:
XS (34"), S (38"), M (40") and XL (44"). The XS works well for kids too!

Price:
RM25 each.

Announcement:

I was informed that "Man" cannot be contacted and most probably eaten by a Tiger. If you want to get your hands on the t-shirt, please make your way to the Nature Owlet at MNS HQ in Jalan Kelantan.

How to get there? It's along Jalan Istana (heading towards Jalan Duta/Jalan Tun Razak). Before the turn-off to Carcosa Seri Negara, there is a small road on the left.

HQ is the old-looking building.

My Adventure of Getting Pissed... Yet Again

Leopard cats in tiny, constricting cages at the 'mini zoo' in Klang.

Why do we jail criminals?

Why do we hold them in cages, locked away from the public?

Right. Then tell me now what these animals have done to deserve such treatment? Rob a blooody jewelery shop did they?

As I was busy being pissed-off on the fate of the 300+ Sea Turtles last week, another of these so-called mini zoos opened in Klang.

These establishment are a bloody laugh. Caging wildlife for public display is inhumane and unethical but we still see plenty of it here. Is it acceptable by our society's standards?

The answer is unfortunately; Yes.

This new zoo in Klang is another sad part of our society's apathy, cruelty and somewhat lack of compassion. How many of these bullshite establishments have we in this country?

Too bloody many!

All over the country, so-called 'mini zoos' are sprouting up. Most of them with deplorable, constricted, binding enclosures. These are the sad sights which greets visitors to these hell-holes. To make it worse, some animals are trained to perform mindless, silly shows because the public gets their high from an Orang Utan riding a bloody bicycle.

Now, you would be asking, "Isn't Perhilitan doing anything to adress the problem"?

They are, but they might as well be pissing in the wind, considering our outdated, narrow and loophole riddled Wildlife Law... and oh, lack of common sense and judegement on the part of Wildlife to sum it all up.

Wildlife and National Parks Department’s (Perhilitan) oft-cited excuse is that it has little clout over these places because the Wildlife Protection Act 1972 (WPA) is glaringly silent on them and does not mandate their licensing.

And although cruelty to wildlife carries a penalty of RM5,000 or five years’ imprisonment under the Act, Perhilitan enforcement director Misliah Mohamad Basir contends that “cruelty” is difficult to prove. “When you say a cage is too small, it is subjective. People will ask ‘what is the right cage size for that species?’ This is not spelt out anywhere.”

-The Star, 27 March 2007.

Maybe I should organise a fundraising event to collect money in order to purchase the Wildlife officers some common sense... or a new brain while we're at it.

Lack of legislation or to be more exact; ineffcient and out-dated laws is the main problem here in this country. The only other legislation which highlights animal abuse is the Animal Act 2006 (which succeeds the Animal Ordinance 1956), but it is inefficient as it comes under the Veterinary Service Department, which have no resources to conduct enforcement work.

So, Perhilitan might as well be playing with their balls as even if they do take action against these wankers, the fine of RM200 or jail term of six months is too paltry for an organisation which rakes in a shite-load of money every month.

Please, we can be more sensible in this matter. We can use our common sense to know whether the animal is suffering or otherwise.

Do not support these establishments, tell your friends and families, even strangers on the streets not to do the same. Maybe, just maybe we can be the caring society that we always say that we are.

Keep them in the wild and protect their habitat. I shit you not.

It *is* that simple.

My Adventure of Getting Pissed

I got pissed this morning.

I was pissed two days ago too.

2 trawlers within 48 hours.

338 sea turtles and only 25 found alive.

Mahai!

I didn't break my back excavating turtle nests and relocating them to designated hatcheries so that a bunch of tossers can come along and net them all.

Shite. I'm writing to all every bloody major newspaper in the country and tell them how I feel. Yes, even to Nanyang. If only I knew anyone who can translate it into Mandarin as the only words I know are the swear ones.

Dear Editor,

Sea turtles are beautiful, unique and wondrous creatures. Of the 7 known sea turtle species in the world, 4 call our waters their home and have been swimming in these waters for more than 100 million years.
In other words, these animals are our natural heritage.

Therefore, it was most alarming to find out that another foreign-based trawler had been seized with 260 protected sea turtles (most of them dead) in its cargo near Pulau Mengalum in Sabah, only 48 hours after another trawler, had been seized for poaching Hawksbill and Green Sea turtles.

Over the last 30 years, there has been a decline in the population of Sea Turtles of more than 65%. This is not only due to the exploitation for their meat, hide and oil but also, to the harvesting of their eggs for human consumption.

It is our responsibility to protect our natural heritage at all cost, unless we want our children, and our children’s children to only be acquainted with the Sea Turtles only from magazines and books in the future.

We would like to take this opportunity to commend our ever-dependable and constantly-vigilant Sabah Marine police for making the arrest. In addition, we recommend that more patrols be increased near the waters of Sabah and Sarawak, not only by the police and Sabah Fisheries but also by our Royal Malaysian Navy.

This incident not only deals with encroachment by foreign ships into our sovereign waters, but also the exploitation of our endangered wildlife ‘citizens’.

Herpetofauna Special-Interest Group
Malaysian Nature Society

I'm sending the letter to the relevant authorities and the press stating our dismay on the recent rampant poaching of our beloved turtles of the coast of Sabah.

Please help me make an impact with this letter - lend your support with your name. Please email me and include your name and NRIC.

Update:

As of Monday, 2 April 2007, I have received 55 signatures for the letter.

Keep 'em coming.Let's hit the 100 mark by the end of the week and our voices heard with the "powers that be".

My Diurnal Excursion during Raptor Watch 2007

The highest number of volunteers we ever had.

Well, what can I say?

The conditions were hot and humid. We had a somewhat overcast sky on Saturday morning but come afternoon, the sun came out and it stayed that way till Sunday evening. But we didn't care. The blazing sun and the cloudless blue sky meant that there is enough thermals for the Raptors to glide over Tanjung Tuan.

Even though a majority of the volunteers were roasted alive; not a word of complaint was heard. It was fun and we enjoyed every bloody minute of it.

As the missus was comfortable shaded under the Arts & Craft tent, your favorite adventurer here was out in the mangroves, leading the public out on a guided tour. This was indeed the best Raptor Watch weekend as the final count for the attendance was around 5,000 bleedin' people.

Even so, I couldn't decide which was the best thing that happened during the event; Having my explanations translated into Mandarin by Adeline Choo, Miss Malaysia/World 2006 during the mangrove walk or trying to blab incoherently the answers to Datin Seri Normala 's queries about the Mangroves.

No worries, the Missus was around so I had to behave myself. Heh.

Not forgetting the raptors though, hundreds flew overhead as they left their summer home in Sumatera to make their way back to their breeding site in Siberia, China and Japan. The final tally was;

Oriental Honey Buzzards: Sat 1835/ Sun 1666
Other raptors: Sat 3/ Sun 63

The overall counts for the WEEK: more than 20,000 raptors - and is expected to hit about 40,000 by the end of the count period (this Sunday).

Bird Board; Updated every hour on the hour

Now, If you'll excuse me, I need to scavenge for more pictures for this posting. Shite, I must get my hands on a camera one of these days.

Nature Guide Girls

Only a Herpetolgist would find a snake in a bird-oriented event

The sun wasn't the only thing HOT there. Heh.

Liverpool's Adventure of Stuffing Barca II

A job well done lads... and yes I have been a good boy. :p

How's that Lils? Is that good enuff for ya?

Your Adventure in Port Dickson

There's only one place to catch the annual Raptor migration. I will be there. Will you?



Sun, Sea, Sand, and Natural Born Killers with talons and claws. What more do you want?

My Adventure of Praying to the Almighty

Most Merciful God,

I know I haven't been a good boy lately in fact I have been quite notty.

I have been missing too many prayers, especially the morning ones. My fasting hasn't been fastidious (no pun intended, oh Ruler of Heaven and Earth) and those which I have missed, intentionally or otherwise, I have yet to replace, as per your instruction.

I haven't been paying the zakat (except for the fitrah but that was only because the Zakat Chap was sitting right beside gaming store) even though you have provided me a crapload from your endless bounty over the years.

Oh, Most Compassionate. I am ashamed of the fact that even though I have lacked my duties towards You, You still find it in your infinite wisdom to still grant me my health, good looks and charming disposition. You have granted me a hottie wife in which I am not deserving. You have made me a babe magnet which has resulted all the hottie chicas, inlcuding the not so hottie ones converge upon my blog.

However, I promise to be Your most humble and bestest servant if you could return Liverpool FC's English and European domination, in which You bestowed unto them during the 60's, 70's and 80's. Currently, us Scousers, Your most humble servants, have noticed that you are more inclined towards that scum team from Manchester (you, in your infinite wisdom would know which one).



I gave You thanks for the treble in 2001. I am so grateful for that night in Instanbul. A miracle in which only You can bestow as well as the other various cups you have allowed us to win during the new millenium.







I still give You thanks for those blessing above now.

I am sorry that some of us have taken to give a nickname to one of our own as 'God', even though he is old, not very good looking and is not a heavenly being or control the fate of the universe at his whim, much like You. Those who have done so have strayed from your path, they know not of what they do. I know that you are the only One in our hearts and in our mind. Do not punish the rest of us for the transgression of a few.



Oh, and I'm so sorry too for having that infidel water as our main sponsors.

I am sorry for that Scouse hottie, Lily the Liverbird as well. For reasons I know not but still... sorry just in case.

Therefore, if it's not too much to ask and I know there are other people in this world who are more in need of your attention, but could you, upon your compassion, please bestow upon Liverpool FC your baraqah and its players the ability to score and defend well for the rest of time. Have us win the Championship another 18,000 times and the European Cup another 500 times. We are not greedy, Oh Most Glorious. You can toss the other Cups for the rest to scavenge upon.

Furthermore, please turn your back upon that other team from Manchester, or smite each one of those gay buggers with your thunder... or swallow them up into the very pits of hell during a game. Either one should be fine, we're not choosy.

As a measure of respect and goodwill to your Greatness, I will promise to be a good boy and do thy bidding from now on.

Amiiin.

Gimli9's Adventure of Cleaving You With His Battle Axe

Och Ay! I’ve gone & tied up Nain in the bleedin’ closet. Quit yer worrying. He’s all right and he’ll be back sooner than yer can say, ‘Torin’s Balls’. Although, why yer want to be saying that is beyond me.

So yer having to contend with me, Gimli9, 'the protector of illegaly traded wildlife and urban forest reserve'. Before any of you softy elvan-lovers start to question why a dwarf is loving nature, shut yer pie hole before I will cleave yer in two with me Battle Axe!

I don’t usually leave me Dwarven stronghold fer nothing unless it’s really bleedin’ important. Dwarves don’t say much. We growl most of the time and cleave filthy Orcs once in a while, so yer better pay attention of what I have to say.

Recently, yer had been celebrating yer Chinese New Year. I have nae problem with that but I’ve heard from some hobbit friends of mine of disturbing news. The wee lads had told me that you lot have been enjoying yer feasting a bit too much. Yer have been naughty little Orcs, haven't you? Feasting on dishes made from endangered animals, and it's not just the Chinese either, the other races in the country are gettin' into it as well. Aye, talk about racial harmonisation.

Aye laddie, those dishes yer been gobbling down, are they made from sustainable or legal produce? Tsk Tsk Tsk, I have gouged an Orcs eye out for lesser reasons. Since yer all Nain's friends, I'll give yer another chance. Make sure yer be more careful in the future, especially when you're hosting a feast. If yer ignoring me advice,

"I will cleave yer in two with my Battle Axe! "

So before yer start buying, think of my axe and remindr yerself;

Abalone – If yer buying, buy carefully. It may be popular, but watch out. Illegal harvesting and trade could have a severe impact on the survival of the species, and could result in the closure of legal fisheries and the loss of hundreds of jobs.

So before yer be buying it, yer better interrogate the merchant if their abalone has been legally sourced . If it is not, yer can proceed to cleave him with your Battle Axe!

Shark’s fin – Be yer very careful with eating shark’s fin soup. In fact yer don’t have to eat it at all. Nowadays it is not only the Chinese are eating, the Malays and Indians have started liking too.

Finning, involves cutting the fins and then throwing the rest of the shark back into the sea, is widely practiced. We only do that to Orcs and other Mordor scum, not sharks. If this continues, Gondorian alchemists are fearing shark populations will disappear entirely.

‘Health’ tonics containing endangered species –Yer to make sure that whatever potions yer buying does not contain or made out of endangered species such as wild ginseng, Asian freshwater turtles, seahorses, saiga antelope, pangolins, geckos, tigers and all of these species are subject to overexploitation and uncontrolled trade.

Those sea-horses on the hand, it is estimated that 24 million seahorses are taken from the wild every year, for use in traditional Chinese medicine, or sold live for the aquarium trade.

Yer not helping the tiger as well, laddie. With only around 5,000 tigers left in the wild, all international trade of tiger products is illegal, thus wines or tonics containing tiger bone are strictly prohibited.

Yer better be careful laddie. The least of yer worries would be having a Rider of Rohan striking you from behind with his spear. ....

The worst? You might end up like this. *Gruff*

What!? You ate Shark's Fin? Die Moria Scum!

Liverpool's Adventure of Stuffing Barca

Typical Scousers.

After their headline-grabbing, boozy excursion to Portugal last week, the lads redeemed themselves by tearing apart the current European champions. Barcelone's demise was ironically, delivered by none other than the two who were at the center of the (alleged) fracas; Bellars and Riise.

Typical Scousers.

Even if one of you is Welsh and the other Norwegian. It must be the air in Liverpool. If not then how could you explain how after bashing each other up (allegedly), they went of and bashed Barcelona; Ronaldinho et all.

So, how does one prepare for an important European match, especially when your balls are against the wall? Let us count the ways.

First just run around lazily like you're jogging in the parks and not scheduled to get stuck-in with some of the best players in the world. Yes, like so....



Then have a nice stroll through training, try to outdo each other through ball-juggling, doing the hokey-pokey and making irellevant but funny faces.


One, two, thre.. oops


You take your right foot in, right foot out, and shake it all about...


All this stretching is making me constipated

After training, the gaffer will give a bit of time-off from training, because you've been stuck in the small town of Vale Do Lobo in Portugal for about a week when back home, the other clubs are trying to steal your FA Cup from you. You will then proceed to paint the town Red (pun intended).

During the this little excursion it is advisable to go off for a little bit of drink-up followed by a karaoke session. It doesn't matter if you can sing, you lot sound terrible anyways. Drunk on booze, proceed to bash your mate with either a kitchen appliance, sporting equipment or with his own kidneys.

Of course you will find yourself in the tabloids the next day but then again most of your fans have boycotted The Sun so no worries of your M'am finding out.

Of course the Gaffer is going to be pissed and will fine you for about RM0.5M but hey, thats just loose change for you. Now, this is where it gets interesting. The papers are going to have a field day with the story, citing crisis in your team and these problems will possibly effect your performance the following evening.

Bollocks! Please, at your own convenience to, obtain a win at the Nou Camp of all places.

Fooooreeeeee!


Are we going for a karaoke, after this John?

Oh and If you're wondering where my previous accounts of the boozing shenanigans, I've changed it allright. Actually it wasn't an official report. I made it up. Heh. Apart from the lads trying to nick Jose's grannie. That was true. Honest.